"Jones is trying so hard to be patient with them."
"Read any good books lately?"
"Imagine these people not being able to tell that
I have a whole two weeks of sobriety!"
"Shit! Hang on, Ethel...I'll call my sponsor!"
"Trust me, son...it's more terrifying being off
the wagon than on!"
"Psst! Wake up, it's your sponsor...what should
I tell her?"
"This, sad to say, is no mask. I've been drinking
like a fish for thirteen years."
"Never mind that. I have to live with these
damned alcoholics."
"Ah, yes, this is the way, my boy...break up
the family and bust a few heads open!"
"You're only 3 days sober, for God's sake!
You can't expect to go from Hell to Camelot
overnight!"
"I'd like to purchase this liquor store and move it to my
house."
"They're probably discussing how much they can sell our
souls for."
"Trust me, I've been dead for thirty years! That shit'll
kill ya!"
"If my drinking puzzles you, just think of it as my way of
becoming like those who do not happen to be around
any more."
"My God Ethel, they're serving alcohol at this function!
Do not panic--We will not drink it if we pretend not to
know what it is!"
"Lose the disguise, Mr. Daniels. We all know who you
are and we do not want you around!"
"Did I hear a need for a sponsor?"
"Everywhere we go, people take us for the drunks we
are. We must go where no one knows us!"
"Mmmm...if I check myself into detox at two o'clock,
that should leave me enough time to squeeze in about
four or five more drinks."
"Mom! The corkscrew is here!"
"The latest poll shows one of eight alcoholics will die
within five years of treatment...so which one of you will
it be?"
"Didn't I tell you? Jones likes to celebrate Christmas with
a drunken display of belligerency."
"I'm gonna miss this peace and quiet once she takes that
first drink."
"I need a sponsor for between midnight and six o'clock
a.m."