"Jones is trying so hard to be patient with them."

"Read any good books lately?"

"Imagine these people not being able to tell that

I have a whole two weeks of sobriety!"

"Shit! Hang on, Ethel...I'll call my sponsor!"

"Trust me, son...it's more terrifying being off

the wagon than on!"

"Psst! Wake up, it's your sponsor...what should

I tell her?"

"This, sad to say, is no mask. I've been drinking

like a fish for thirteen years."

"Never mind that. I have to live with these

damned alcoholics."

"Ah, yes, this is the way, my boy...break up

the family and bust a few heads open!"

"You're only 3 days sober, for God's sake!

You can't expect to go from Hell to Camelot

overnight!"

"I'd like to purchase this liquor store and move it to my

house."

"They're probably discussing how much they can sell our

souls for."

"Trust me, I've been dead for thirty years! That shit'll

kill ya!"

"If my drinking puzzles you, just think of it as my way of

becoming like those who do not happen to be around

any more."

"My God Ethel, they're serving alcohol at this function!

Do not panic--We will not drink it if we pretend not to

know what it is!"

"Lose the disguise, Mr. Daniels. We all know who you

are and we do not want you around!"

"Did I hear a need for a sponsor?"

"Everywhere we go, people take us for the drunks we

are. We must go where no one knows us!"

"Mmmm...if I check myself into detox at two o'clock,

that should leave me enough time to squeeze in about

four or five more drinks."

"Mom! The corkscrew is here!"

"The latest poll shows one of eight alcoholics will die

within five years of treatment...so which one of you will

it be?"

"Didn't I tell you? Jones likes to celebrate Christmas with

a drunken display of belligerency."

"I'm gonna miss this peace and quiet once she takes that

first drink."

"I need a sponsor for between midnight and six o'clock

a.m."